Seven Years -

Seven Years.

Seven Years -

Today marks seven years since my mom passed away.

I usually take this day to go away. To spend time alone and do things my mom liked to do. I read and relax, I go to places we liked to eat at. I do a little shopping.

But this year, I’ve got two kids and we live 300 miles from our family, which means no babysitters. So I’m spending the day with my little ones, waiting for my hubby to come home, and hosting my women’s Bible Study at our house tonight.

On the outside, it looks like a normal day. Not much is different than yesterday, really.

I think maybe that’s okay.

I think maybe it’s better than okay.

I think maybe the thing my mom would have liked the most is to watch me raise my kids. She would have loved to be a part of their lives, and spoil the heck out of them. I think maybe, when it comes down to it, she’d rather be here than out reading, relaxing, and shopping.

I’m going to try to honor her today by being the best mom I can be. I’m going to bake with Emmy, and rock Nathan a little longer than I need to. I’m going to read an extra book before naptime, and play outside.

I’m going to enjoy my kids.

The thing about motherhood is that in the midst of the exhausting and the draining, there is joy to be found in the simple fact that you’re there to be exhausted and drained. I get to be the one to raise my kids, I get to be the one to discipline, to praise, to kiss, and to cuddle.

I get to be here. That alone is a gift. I pray I get longer with my kids than my mom did with us, but even if I don’t, I’m determined to cherish the moments I’ve got.

Today, I will enjoy my kids. I think my momma would have, too.

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  1. says

    Thank you for this post Kayse, I love the photo you used. Mom was so pretty. This is a wonderful memorial for her.
    Kayse, I woke this morning very early, 4 AM. Didn’t feel I could go back to sleep.

    I read on the internet that Harold Ramis died yesterday. He was the comedian that wrote Ghostbusters.

    After reading this I thought, this is a gift to Mom, in my mind, I thought Mom would be there to great Harold into heaven. Mom gets to meet a celebrity. A comedian.

    As if this was Mom’s birthday gift. Weird huh?
    I felt this morning, like Mom was having a seventh birthday, her birthday was seven years ago when she entered Heaven.

    It made me feel good to think of her having a seventh birthday. Seven is a great age. I loved being 7.

    So today, and for the first time since we lost Mom, I am of the mind to celebrate. To celebrate that she is seven.

    I never looked at it like this before. I miss her dearly, but today, I celebrate her seventh birthday. What do you remember was Mom’s favorite thing to eat besides Chocolate?

    The photo that you used was perfect. Emmy sure looks like you, Love Dad

    • says

      That is such a great way to think about it. I love that!!! Thanks for telling me.

      Mom loved that buttermilk spice muffin from Mimi’s. The croissant sandwich from Red Robin. Hot fudge sundaes from McDonald’s. She got the wedge salad at BJ’s and liked chips and salsa at Chili’s.

      She also made the best French Toast (although mine is now a close second!), and that yummy chocolate and caramel cake she’d always make for Seth’s birthday. Maybe I’ll make that tonight.

      We used food for everything. To celebrate, console, just have a girl’s day out. So food I remember.

      Love you, Daddy. :)

  2. says

    Shortest post that ever made me cry. Yes. I do believe you are right. She’d want to be right here with you today spending time with those precious kids. Because time is precious and we get to spend it with our kids. (Good reminder the hard days…and the easier days) Love that picture. Beautiful moment. Will be thinking of you today friend. XO
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  3. Jan says

    I just have to say – this is so beautiful. I’ve never lost someone this close to me but it seems like such an incredibly beautiful way to remember a loved one – and a mom especially so – over the years, after the beginning stages of grief are past. I wish you a beautiful day of sweet memories today.

  4. Maureen says

    Kayse – I know that ache of losing a mother all too well….and almost 35 years later, I still feel that pain. I was only 6 weeks old when my mother passed and I think that as I enter new phases of my life, the grief hits me differently. Just this past Christmas, I realized that I am just now grieving the loss of not having a mother who is there for me as a I try to raise my three little ones. It hurts something fierce. I desire to have someone who has been through this, to walk beside me….to give me advice and encourage me in my motherhood. It took me reading some of the books that you recommended back in January 2013 (“Desperate” being one of the main ones that impressed me deeply) to realize just how much it hurts to lose a mother, a confidant, and friend. It is refreshing to see you celebrate your mother on this day. I hope that some day I can get to that point too. Praying for you today!

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