Yesterday I printed all 70 pages and 30,000 words of this baby off and mailed it to my agent for the first round of editing done by eyes that are not my own.
My deepest pain and God’s great mercy, all written out for the whole world to read if they wanted to. Makes me think twice about this whole thing. Puts a little fear in me.
It has been a difficult month, writing-wise. I have felt a pull very strongly to home, and family, and time with my baby girl. I have needed to be intentional with my time and work on projects around the house that have been begging for my attention for months. And then I got the flu and then both my hubby and my kiddo got it too, and, well, we had to kind press pause on life for a couple of weeks there.
None of that stuff meshes well with writing.
See, I write best early in the morning, in a busy coffee shop, my hands wrapped around a mug of hot tea. I write best when I take time away to be quiet and still and focused.
This is not the life of a mom.
My mommy life is busy and strenuous and very, very loud. It is tugging hands and “pease, momma” and tantrums and time outs. It is puzzle pieces and crayons and paint. Everywhere. It is cooking and cleaning and laundry and dishes, all which never seem to end. There is no time away, no quiet, no still focus.
I am an all or nothing kind of girl. So in the last few weeks, when the balance of these two calls on my life have threatened to push me over the edge, I have been tempted to throw in that writing towel. Clearly, my first responsibility is to my family, and that is truly a full time job.
But the writing… it’s not something I can let go of. More importantly, it’s something that the Lord is asking me to hang onto. It is healing and reflecting and sorting thoughts into words that solidifies Christ’s work in me. And every now and then He surprises me with the added blessing of others who read these words and identify. So that is something.
I have to wrestle through and figure out how both of my callings can fit together into my larger one – using my life for His glory.
This week Holley has challenged us to do one less thing. To give one thing up, so that we can focus on the things we were made to do. I have turned this over and over in my head the last few days and really, most of the things I do cannot be easily abandoned.
But in writing this post, I realized how true it is that I write best in the early morning. How that quiet time between Jesus and me is so precious, and pretty absent the rest of the day. I need to carve out the time for that, and that means being able to get up earlier than my family.
And to do that I need to go to bed by 10pm. Every night.
So this week, I will commit to giving up my nightly tv/computer time, and head to bed by 10pm. This way, I will be sure to get enough rest, get up early, and devote time to writing in the morning. In this way, I can spend the rest of my day pouring into my family, without reservation or dividing myself.
I think it’s a good plan. Now, who’s gonna hold me to it? Y’all know I love my tv. 
Head on over to Holley’s place today to check out what everyone else is giving up to focus on their dreams. Is there something in your life that needs more of your focus too?
I’ve been doing the same thing! Going to bed by 10 and getting up between 5:30 and 6am for quiet time and work time. Some days I’m pretty tired, but God has been giving me the strength to push through. Also, I’m less grumpy in the morning when I wake up and have some “me time” before the endless questions and requests from my little love start coming in… haha!
Jenni Mullinix recently posted..Teaching Young Children About the Love of God
I gave up TV watching a couple of years ago. Right now I watch one show on Sunday night with my kids. 1 hour all week. I do watch the occasional Netflix but usually can’t make it through a whole show. It just ceased to be important to me. I am thinking about what I can give up… does housework, cooking or laundry count? I am balancing our family of 5 with the need to workout at least a couple of times a week, working full time and yes, I too love to write. I love your posts and will ask the Lord to bless you and your family as I learn what else I can give up for that time for writing and quiet communion with Jesus.
HHHHmmmmmm, sounds like something your Dad always preached, go to bed early and get up early. I know Mom got up early every morning, but she did go to bed late, I don’t know how she did that. I never could.
One thing I do love is the mornings, everything is fresh and calm, it is a blessing within itself, the mornings.
I am smiling right now.
Love Dad
Glad you all are feeling better! We all shared the flu as well and it was not pleasant. I have this issue, too. I really thrive on time alone in the mornings to check my email, drink a cup of coffee, and wake up without a child clamoring for my attention, but like you I tend to get caught up in other things at night. Last night I didn’t get to sleep until after midnight, which obviously means I didn’t wake up at six.
Can’t wait to read your book when it’s published! How exciting!
You know how you always see things asking what’s the one best piece of advice you ever received as a new mom? I think that the best advice a mom could ever receive is to ALWAYS go to bed early. Always. It’s the only thing that keeps me sane most of the time.
Loved this post! Even though I am a grandmother and long-ago empty-nester, I could STILL relate to it. Having an empty house doesn’t mean you keep your priorities straight…in fact, you can really “lolligag” all over the place without the “pressure” of little ones at your feet.
Love your website and blog, Kayse!
Hi Kayse. I found your blog today on the Incourage Writers Group
I totally can relate to the tug and the pull. I had to make that decision a while back and it’s been awesome. I get up early and I write, usually after my devotional time. It’s a way to walk out my dream/calling while not robbing my family. One thing that I’m working on now, pre-writing and scheduling posts. These mornings are great because any writing time is then for future posts. Writing is much less stressful without that deadline hanging over my head… because you know, once they’re up, forget about getting your thoughts together
First of all…WooHoo!!! Way to go on that first draft! I’m cheering for you!
I admire you for being willing to give up that late night computer/tv time. Can I be honest with you? I know I need to give it up…at least part of it up, but I’m being stubborn. I’m a night owl and an early runner…and haven’t yet figured out how that manages to work. Keep encouraging me, ok? Blessings to you this week, and wishing you some really wonderful rest and writing time!
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