Nathan | #everydayfaith | Day 25

I rarely write about my boy. Poor kid is truly the second child.

I’m working on his one year party and have only finished two pages in his baby book. I’m afraid he will feel like I didn’t love him as much because he doesn’t have all the stuff that Emily did.

But here’s the reality — really, I have learned how to love differently. Not with records and documents and scrapbook paper, but with myself.

I spend so much more time with Nathan in my arms than I ever did with Emmy. He is a lover, and wants to be close to momma. And I love that. So I hold him or wear him or rock him to sleep. I talk and he babbles and we are buddies. We are connected.

Do you see? I know the picture is awful – it’s an iphone screenshot of a facetime call, for goodness sake – but he sees my face and beelines in my direction. We are attached, momma and son, and it’s special and different and so sweet.

I love him in a different way than I love my sweet girl, because they are different babes, and as much as I hate to admit it, I am a different momma with him than I was with her when she was this age. The momma you are with your first is rarely how you are with your second, I think. I’ve learned so much more, and figured out what matters the most, and now that’s where I spend my time. Parenting Nathan has changed how I parent both my kids. So instead of building baby books, I’m choosing to build relationship. And while I really wish I was good at both of those things, I’m just not. And the relationship is more important to me than the book right now, so the book is unfinished on my desk, which is piled high with unfinished projects, and I’m kind of a pinterest failure.

But hopefully, one day, when he sees his half finished baby book and first birthday party pictures with less decorations than the crazy bash we had for his sister, he won’t wonder about how much I love him.

I hope he will remember the time we spend together, and how we talk and laugh and how we are buddies. I hope he doesn’t have any doubt at all.

And if he does, I’ll totally pay for his therapy.

small things | #everydayfaith | Day 24

small thingsIt has been a while since I’ve seen Him in the small things.

For this introvert and internal processor, seeing life (and I mean really seeing it) takes time. And thoughts. And time to work out my thoughts.

This is difficult with children.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids with my whole heart and I wouldn’t trade them for the world. But here, in the quiet, I’m realizing how long it’s been since I’ve been in the quiet. I can hear myself think again. I have time to process those thoughts.

And I hear God here.

I hear Him in conversations with people I met online years ago but only yesterday in person. Because somehow they are talking about all the things going on in their lives that are also going on in my life, and the piecing together of stories and timelines and friendships is orchestrated by God alone, and that’s undeniable here.

In two different conversations today, two different women talked with me about the subject matter of my new writing project. And I hadn’t mentioned a word about it to anyone, but secretly I was wondering if other people struggle with this topic like I do, and if anyone would even want to read about it. And then those two women brought it up completely apart from anything I said, and I felt confirmation that yes, this matters. Later, I was talking with a friend about our kids, and her few words about her own experience spoke directly to a decision Jon and I have been trying to make, and relieved my anxiety almost completely.

They were small things, but they weren’t coincidences. And the reminder that He is close and living and active is like water to my very thirsty soul. I didn’t realize how thirsty for Him I was, until I got here, and slowed down.

He is at home the same way He is here, but I am not the same person here that I am at home. At home, I am stressed and busy and concerned with the list. Here, I am relaxed and a lot more go with the flow. I need to find a way to mesh these two me’s, because the peaceful me is the one I want to bring home. The peaceful me is the one my husband & kids need. That’s the me that I need.

I’m on a mission to remember who I am when Jesus is all I have. And to invite Him and His peacefulness back into my home.

In the big things and the small.

new friends | #everydayfaith | Day 23

new friends

Usually, it is super hard for me to meet new people. I’m an introvert who is easily intimidated by others, and it’s safer to just read a book in my room. But I’m at a blogging conference this week. With 400 other women. And I’m tired of being afraid of meeting new people. So this week, I’m changing my M.O. I’m going up to people and introducing myself. I’m seeking out the people who look like they are worried about {Read More}

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Waiting | #everydayfaith | Day 22

waiting -

I ran through the Atlanta airport to catch my connecting flight. Did you know Atlanta is a big airport? It is. So, you know, I’m counting that as my exercise for today. I was out of breath when I got to the plane, so it totally counts. (Sidenote: The old man who was running next to me the whole time was NOT out of breath when we got to the plane. So I am extremely lame.) Turns out, I didn’t {Read More}

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Trust | #everydayfaith | Day 21


Today I’m flying across the country to attend a blogging conference. I’m so incredibly excited (!!!) but having such a hard time leaving my babies. They will be in great hands – my mother in law is coming, and Jon will be home right after school. But I won’t be here. And that leaves me so very nervous. Part of it is just my momma heart. Those babies are my responsibility, I know them better than anyone, and our days {Read More}

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Distracted | #everydayfaith | Day 20

distracted -

I’m keeping this chapter of Undivided Mom in mind today, as I prepare to leave my family for six whole days. I’ve got some things to get done, but more than that, I want to spend quality time with my husband and my babies, and get my heart in the right place for my trip!!  Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a {Read More}

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Happy Sunday | #everydayfaith | Day 19

happy sunday -

Today’s post comes from my hubby, who said “Hey, you should just tell everyone to put down their phones and go to church with their families.” It’s possible he’s actually MORE blunt than I am, so I’ll say it in a little nicer way. Happy Sunday, friends! I hope you enjoy the day with your families – at church & at home. Get in the Word, get some rest, and get ready for the week. Sunday afternoons are my absolute {Read More}

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Love Deeply | #everydayfaith | Day 18


I keep coming back to this verse lately. The 1 Peter study from She Reads Truth is challenging me. I’m grateful for it, but I’m also exhausted by it. Because sometimes, living out God’s Word is hard. Still, I’m grateful for truth. For the challenge. What are you studying right now? How is it challenging you? P.S. Happy weekend! On Saturdays and Sundays during October, I’m sharing everyday blessings that I’m grateful for. Catch up on the whole #everydayfaith series {Read More}

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Dance Party | #everydayfaith | Day 17

dance party -

Some days don’t go the way you planned. Some days leave you grumpy. Some days need a do-over. On those days, we throw a dance party, Emmy and I. And usually, it’s just the do-over we needed. By the end, we’re laughing and dancing, all arguments and tantrums long forgotten. Maybe you need a dance party today. If you do, I’ve got some music for you. Here’s our latest favorite – perfect for singing at the top of your lungs. {Read More}

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Anticipation | #everydayfaith | Day 16

anticipation -

In less than a week, I will board a plane and travel across the entire country for almost six days. Almost six full days away from my babies. That fills me with dread. Dread that is quickly replaced by a guilty excitement when I realize that also means… ALMOST SIX FULL NIGHTS OF SLEEP!!!!!!!! And all of the mommas said AMEN!! It has been at least a year since I slept more than 5 hours in a row. I’m giddy {Read More}

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